The baby thing
Nov. 6th, 2007 10:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
map_of_the_worldSo I was thinking about this having/not having kids thing. I was dead set against it for ages and ages and then I thought it might be nice and good, so we tried but as I though my body is really messed up and the chance of having them without medical intervention is pretty much nil
And really I don’t want to have invasive procedures or nasty chemicals in my body just to get pregnant. Also there is no way we could afford treatment and I don’t think the NHS should be providing it because having kids isn’t a right and its using money that could be saving someone’s life.
Also I really don’t think I’d be that good a parent. I’m inpatient and irritable and really really messy, also I am quite selfish about some things and I really need my own space. Also I wouldn’t want a child to live with my depression I don’t think.
So I’ve been thinking about going back on contraception and just declaring myself childfree and be done with it. Paul was like well you are probably not going to get pregnant why don’t we just not use contraception and see what happens. I’m really not a fan of that idea I kind of want to know either way. I think I will feel like I’m in limbo otherwise. I need to be able to plan my life, plan my future as much as possible without worrying I might get pregnant in an important part of my career. I don’t know what contraception o use though, whether to get something permanent.
Maybe Tony having Ben has really made me see the down side of childrearing as well, what a drag it can be, how tiring it is, how it totally curtails your life.
But one of the things that irks me about the self styled “childfree” is how horrible they are (okay so I have only come across these people on eljay which does tend to attract whack jobs but whatever) lots of them seem to really hate kids, are really anti kid in public, especially anti breast feeding and there is a whole load of misogyny as well, it really disturbs me. I actually quite like kids, well im a bit awkward with them up to about five then I really like them, and I think breast feeding in public is totally acceptable, people eat in public don’t they? It pisses me off that a child should go hungry so people don’t get offended.
Being a mother in this society is difficult. The Ideal of motherhood is honoured and put on a pedestal but actual motherhood isn’t. like most things that are seen as “women’s work” it is often belittled and sneered at .Its hard work and usually quite thankless. There is never enough cheap child care, its expensive, its tiring and I just think ist really rude of people to teardown mothers (or any parents) all the time. Motherhood matters. Just because people choose to be childfree it doesn’t mean that parenting doesn’t matter. Also just because I don’t want kids doesn’t mean I begrudge any support that parents get from the government ect.
In fact it may be that I spend a large chunk of my career teaching/supporting other peoples children instead of having my own.
And really I don’t want to have invasive procedures or nasty chemicals in my body just to get pregnant. Also there is no way we could afford treatment and I don’t think the NHS should be providing it because having kids isn’t a right and its using money that could be saving someone’s life.
Also I really don’t think I’d be that good a parent. I’m inpatient and irritable and really really messy, also I am quite selfish about some things and I really need my own space. Also I wouldn’t want a child to live with my depression I don’t think.
So I’ve been thinking about going back on contraception and just declaring myself childfree and be done with it. Paul was like well you are probably not going to get pregnant why don’t we just not use contraception and see what happens. I’m really not a fan of that idea I kind of want to know either way. I think I will feel like I’m in limbo otherwise. I need to be able to plan my life, plan my future as much as possible without worrying I might get pregnant in an important part of my career. I don’t know what contraception o use though, whether to get something permanent.
Maybe Tony having Ben has really made me see the down side of childrearing as well, what a drag it can be, how tiring it is, how it totally curtails your life.
But one of the things that irks me about the self styled “childfree” is how horrible they are (okay so I have only come across these people on eljay which does tend to attract whack jobs but whatever) lots of them seem to really hate kids, are really anti kid in public, especially anti breast feeding and there is a whole load of misogyny as well, it really disturbs me. I actually quite like kids, well im a bit awkward with them up to about five then I really like them, and I think breast feeding in public is totally acceptable, people eat in public don’t they? It pisses me off that a child should go hungry so people don’t get offended.
Being a mother in this society is difficult. The Ideal of motherhood is honoured and put on a pedestal but actual motherhood isn’t. like most things that are seen as “women’s work” it is often belittled and sneered at .Its hard work and usually quite thankless. There is never enough cheap child care, its expensive, its tiring and I just think ist really rude of people to teardown mothers (or any parents) all the time. Motherhood matters. Just because people choose to be childfree it doesn’t mean that parenting doesn’t matter. Also just because I don’t want kids doesn’t mean I begrudge any support that parents get from the government ect.
In fact it may be that I spend a large chunk of my career teaching/supporting other peoples children instead of having my own.
