Our counsellor was saying that about little kids too - we were talking to her about Alex's and our little girl, Stephanie, and how we weren't sure if we should be kinda putting words into her mouth about how she feels or something. Eileen (counsellor) sez it is really important to actually give them the words, so like if she comes home from school and looks unhappy, it teaches her that that feeling is "unhappy" if we say "Oh dear, you look unhappy." And from there, it gives her the words, which enables her to learn empathy. Eileen said kids aren't naturally empathic, it is something we teach them. And without the words they don't. But I imagine it is a lot deeper than that - in saying "you look unhappy" I am not only telling her the word for how she feels is "unhappy" but that it is possible for someone else to see she feels something therefore it is possible for her to understand that other people feel things and she can see they feel, just like she does. And then my response to her unhappiness then teaches her how it is appropriate to respond when she sees other people's unhappiness. Like if I say "Would you like to talk about it?" then respect her privacy if she doesn't, or listen and respond with care if she does, then she learns that is the appropriate way to respond to unhappiness. We were worried we would be like... pressuring her to be or feel something she didn't. But Eileen said "Nah! Kids tell you when they don't feel the way you ask them if they are." And this is true about Stephanie. lol! She lets us know how she feels, especially what she DOESN'T want to do or have happen in her life *grins*
I imagine what you describe about ad-lit is similar. Especially as the experience of life seems to be so much more intense as an adolescent than an adult (from what I understand from scientific understanding of it.)
I couldn't say anything profound about ad-lit's effect on emotional development as we read and read and read and read. And by our mid-teens were reading more adult than ad-lit anyway, you know, coz there was more of it and more choice etc. In other words I don't know what the absence of reading is like :-)
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branchandroot
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Date: 2010-08-01 06:57 am (UTC)And from there, it gives her the words, which enables her to learn empathy. Eileen said kids aren't naturally empathic, it is something we teach them. And without the words they don't.
But I imagine it is a lot deeper than that - in saying "you look unhappy" I am not only telling her the word for how she feels is "unhappy" but that it is possible for someone else to see she feels something therefore it is possible for her to understand that other people feel things and she can see they feel, just like she does. And then my response to her unhappiness then teaches her how it is appropriate to respond when she sees other people's unhappiness. Like if I say "Would you like to talk about it?" then respect her privacy if she doesn't, or listen and respond with care if she does, then she learns that is the appropriate way to respond to unhappiness.
We were worried we would be like... pressuring her to be or feel something she didn't. But Eileen said "Nah! Kids tell you when they don't feel the way you ask them if they are."
And this is true about Stephanie. lol! She lets us know how she feels, especially what she DOESN'T want to do or have happen in her life *grins*
I imagine what you describe about ad-lit is similar. Especially as the experience of life seems to be so much more intense as an adolescent than an adult (from what I understand from scientific understanding of it.)
I couldn't say anything profound about ad-lit's effect on emotional development as we read and read and read and read. And by our mid-teens were reading more adult than ad-lit anyway, you know, coz there was more of it and more choice etc.
In other words I don't know what the absence of reading is like :-)
PS I do adore your icon *grins*