yes all so true, even the "good" adoptive parents I know of ran the "you should be grateful to me" thing the whole of their children's child hood and that is intensified in older child adoptions and Trans national/racial adoption (so is obviously proportionate to the worth of the child in the parents head)

and I wonder if her children gave her permission to talk about them like that with their names and a picture of them , I'm betting they didn't and that is an enormous boundary breach and breach of trust