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Loosing myself.
Feb. 18th, 2006 12:05 pmWhere did I learn that it wasn't ok just to be me? Where did I learn that it was all about other people. Where did I learn that I always had to put everyone else first, that I wasn't important, that I had to wear myself out looking after everyone else? Where did I learn that I was worth nothing? That I was only usefull serving others, that others needs were more important than my own?
Where did I learn that the space I take up is too big and that I should always endevour to make it smaller, to give it away? Where did I learn that my voice, my needs were less important than everyone elses?
Where did I learn that I had to be brilliant, that I had to be the best or I'd failed, that perfection or damnation were the only options avalible? Where did I learn that it wasn't ok to stop, to give myself down time, to do stuff just for myself, just because I enjoyed it, that it all had to be worthy, that it all had to mean something?
Where did I learn that the space I take up is too big and that I should always endevour to make it smaller, to give it away? Where did I learn that my voice, my needs were less important than everyone elses?
Where did I learn that I had to be brilliant, that I had to be the best or I'd failed, that perfection or damnation were the only options avalible? Where did I learn that it wasn't ok to stop, to give myself down time, to do stuff just for myself, just because I enjoyed it, that it all had to be worthy, that it all had to mean something?
