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So I'm having a long convoluted email conversation with a couple of people about a lot of different bits and pieces and one of them said

I also have issues about the word “rape”, I find it horribly objectifying since it refers to devaluing of property rather than assault,

And I kind of get where shes coming from but I think I disagree, I mean yes when It became a crime to have sex with a woman by force that was because it was seen as a crime of theft that something was being stolen from a father or a husband but language changes and society changes and i think on several levels not using the word rape would be problematic

firstly I do think rape is a kind of theft but theft from the woman, theft of her sense of bodily integrity, of her trust in the world, of her assumption that she is safe, of her peace of mind, and often of her mental wellness. Many women also experience rape as the actual theft of the body, they become detached from their bodies, think of it as something that no longer belongs to them.

But also according to The online etymology dictionary the word rape derives from c.1386, "seize prey, take by force," from Anglo-Fr. raper, O.Fr. raper "to seize, abduct," a legal term, from L. rapere "seize, carry off by force, abduct" which isn't really the same thing as theft, it suggests kidnap more than steal I would say.

Also what word do we use if we don't use rape? I don't think the term "sexual assault " cuts it really because people do not think of forced penetrative sex when that term is used I don't think. And I do think being raped is worse that being other wise sexually assaulted.

Also for many women who have been raped the word itself is incredibly powerful and difficult to say, difficult to claim as an experience and when they can say the word "rape" or say "I was aped" or say "he raped me" that is often the point that healing can begin.

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